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Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Head over heels and improper equipment

This past Friday, I was back at work. Yes, I was finally feeling better and thought, hey, why not go in and attack that growing stack of paperwork that was surely accumulating on my desk. So in I went.

I had some errands to run that would take me all over the campus and all over town so I thought hey, why not use my car rather than hump all this stuff on the bus or push it all over the campus in a cart in this 90 degree heat? Seems reasonable right? I thought so.

So all over I go, running hither and dither and once I'm all done, I parked my car in the deck (where I normally park) and started up the steps toward the street. Here was my mistake. Now I wish I had pictures of this so you could see what I am about to describe because, whoo... pics would make it that much better! :) But anyhoo, with my right foot, I took a step up the steps. I must have stepped on a pebble because the next thing I know, my right foot slides back and as I see the pretty blue sky fly before my eyes a loud extremely unlady-like blast of "SHIT!" comes flying out of my mouth and I land, upside down, head toward the bottom of the steps, on my side in the bushes, on the mulch, next to the steps. Yep. Ass over tea kettle. My feet went completely over my head. I'm sure it was beautiful! The only thing I can think of to compare what passers-by might have seen while I performed this feat of acrobatics is what the Peanuts Gang looks like when they bowled over. You know... like this:

*laugh* Of course, there is a benefit working in and around a hospital. Before I could even lift my head to assess the situation, my Knight In Green Scrubs is at my side. I have no idea who he was but he was on me like I had just been in a car crash. "Don't move yet! Breathe. Can you feel everything? Can you move your legs? Okay, I'm going to lift you up now (he does... puts his arms under my armpits and lifts!). Okay, can you stand? You sure? I'm not letting go of you until you can put weight on your leg comfortably. Okay, you alright now? You sure? Okay bye." And with that, off he walks. Good bye my Knight In Green Scrubs whoever you were! *Insert damsel no longer in distress wave, here* No I never got his name and in my brain rattled state, I didn't even think to look at his ID badge. Oh well... maybe I'll see him again sometime and I can thank him for his help again.

So off I go, hobbling after one of the buses because there was no way I was limping all the way up the hill to my office now! Of course, when I got back in, I got more than one raised eyebrow. :) One ice pack and five tellings of the story later, I have half the office in fits of laughter! "Did you really land in the bushes?" *insert peal of laughter here* "Are there video cameras in the parking deck? We could get $10,000!" *insert whoops of laughter here* Just for the record, there are no cameras in that location... I asked. :)

So here is the result:

I'm not limping at all and it really didn't hurt much at all the next day. I'd say I was lucky. By the way I went over... I could have really done some serious damage.

That was my Friday.

Today, I had to go to court for my
speeding ticket. I had to stand in line for about 5 minutes so I could plead my case. I got to talk to the DA (nice gal) and she told me that if I:

DA: "Bring back a certified copy of your driving record next month, then can plead guilty to "improper equipment" and it won't be a bad mark on your license nor will it increase your insurance. Does that work for you?"

Me: "Sure!"

DA: "Oh by the way... you still have to pay the $150 fine."

Me: *blink* "K."

Sneaky peoples! I see how they do me! They still get all their money but I don't have to worry about any bad marks on my license. It's a fair trade... but a sneaky one! :P But what puts the cherry on top of this one? Well you see... this is my second ever speeding ticket. I got my first one on September 13, 2001. Yup, two days after 9/11 (with a military ID and a New York State Driver's License thank you very much) and on Eric's birthday. When do I have to go back to settle this ticket? September 13th... Eric's birthday. I told him today:

Me: "That's it! Four years from now I'm not doing crap on your birthday! Four years ago it cost me $125. This year it's gonna cost me $150. I'm not doing -anything- on September 13, 2008!"

Eric: *snicker!* "That's probably a very good idea!"

So onto knitting content! The POLL!!!! Thank you all for voting. Yes, I have taken back up the I Do shrug. Do I have pics of my progress? No. Why? Because I'm a lazy ass. I will also be starting another pair of socks though. Why do you ask? Well it's because tomorrow Eric and I are off to GenCon!!! Yay! And here's the juicy bit... I will be meeting Eric in Charlotte and we will both fly up to Indianapolis together but I have to fly to Charlotte from Raleigh. And if I play my cards right... Eric will be my flight attendant! :D Oh yes... cross your fingers boys and girls! I have never seen him in action and I really, really, really want to! I will soooooooo take pictures (if I can sneak the camera out while we taxi) of him going through his safety drills. "There are four exits out of this aircraft..." Tee hee! Wish me luck! Burn a candle! Invoke the spirits! I want to get on US Airways Express flight 2245 from RDU to CLT departing 9:35am, EST August 17th. *Working some mojo!* Oh please, oh please, oh please! I will sooooooooo torment him! *insert evil cackle here!*

"Steward! I'm cold. Can I have a blanket?"
"Steward! My neck hurts. Can I have a pillow?"
"Steward! I'm thirsty. Can I have another soda?"
"Steward! When do we land?"
"Steward! What gate do I have to go to in order to make my connection?"

I even asked him if I could get thrown off a plane for pinching my flight attendant on the tooshie. He said yes. I'm gonna pinch him anyway. ;) Hey, my birthday is this Sunday. I can do what I please, says I! :D

You know, that looks like a good idea. Off I go to finish packing and head to sleep. See you all on the 22nd!