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Sunday, September 28, 2008

I'm in love.

And I'm so very sleepy. But this is not a bad thing.

Since early August every Friday evening I stay up until at least 1am (my goal is always 2am) so that I can stay up with no effort until at least 2am on the following Saturday. Why? I'm an intern in a crime lab and my shift is 3pm to 1am.

I've seen the horrible things done by and to human beings. Animal abuse, sexual assault, domestic assault, child neglect, arson, homicide and more. They are not pretty pictures and I look at every detail in those photos so that I know what to look for when I'm the one taking those pictures. I saw a pitbull mix, so emaciated you could see the gaps between her ribs, wag her tail at the officer, the crime lab tech and me as we fed her a few Snausages the officer had in his vehicle. I found out an hour later that she will be put down this week but I'm happy I was able to see her so that at least the last few humans she met were kind to her. I was happy to see her because that one kiss she gave my hand reminded me that even the smallest victims need my voice and love for my job.

I've seen cops being spit on, urinated on, sworn at and generally abused. I've seen crime scene technicians verbally abused while running breathalyzer tests. I've seen them lied to by witnesses to a double shooting in broad daylight.

One day I will be one of them and I just can't wait.

I have never loved a job before. I don't even have this job and I love it already. If I could quit my paying job and intern at the PD full time (without pay) I would. Without hesitation.

Why else am I in love? I go to school 40 miles from home, three nights a week. Every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I can't wait to get out of work, drive 45 minutes and then go to class.

And one more reason I'm in love? Eric is still sticking with me through all my homework, crazy sleep schedules and crazy stories I bring home. He still smiles when he sees me. He still laughs when I growl at him from under the pillow because I've only had 4 hours sleep. On October 10th Eric and I will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.

I don't know what to do for him. There's nothing I can do or say that will tell him/show him how much I love him. At least nothing I can think of. I promised to knit him a scarf two years ago. I still haven't. I started one but it just wasn't right. I have to find the right pattern for him. I have to find the right yarn for him. And I think I have to realize that it may take me a good while longer before I do. :)

Fang shows her love easily... by laying on his hat.


Trouble does it by laying on a dirty shirt of his.


Maybe something will come to me soon...

Speaking of things coming to me, when I woke up this morning and saw this:


and then this:


Apparently this yarn has finally decided it needs to be hats. A long time ago I received this yarn from someone (I still don't know who, LOL!) and after beating me soundly in every game I played with it, it quietly retired to my stash to ponder itself and its purpose in life.

So hats... now where are my needles?